November 15, 2006
A Bitter Salute
This is the name of my poetry book I published in 2002. It is a book
that reflects the painful emotions of an emigrant, who leaves behind,
as it is said in one of the poems:
"The home in which I was born,
my friends from childhood,
my relatives, my father, and my mother."
This price is high. Very, very high. And so are the expectations in return.
"Can I reach the sky and freely fly if I pull myself out of the
roots?", I asked in one of my poems, though I already knew the
answer.
Is it a fair trade to exchange the Valley of the Roses for the convenience
of the freeways? The warmth of my parents' home for the neon of the big
city lights? The sweet memories of my youth for the adventure of an unknown
life? The sounds of the lambs in my grandmother's backyard for the guitars
of rock 'n' roll? The beauty of the native lullabies for the struggle
to express my thoughts and feelings in a foreign language?
Questions. Questions. Questions…
And the answers are given in more questions.
Should I feel guilty, that at my age, I "taste" freedom?
The freedom to walk on my own?
To talk and be heard?
To be myself outside of my little country?
Questions. Questions…
However,
The choice is made.
The path is taken.
No room for regrets,
Despite the price.
By Daphne Karcheva-Orris
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